"Pringles is a very laid-back company. Originally, they wanted to make tennis balls. But when the truck showed up full of potatoes, they just said, "Fuck it, cut 'em up." Mitch Hedberg

15 April 2012

Day 15: Western Union Fraud II

Western Union Fraud II

Spring fashions in the 6th Circuit
Left to plot: White Jesus
shoplifting into his backpack
at pretrial hearing in Bannana Republic T-Shirt (unironic)
with plaid shorts. Fingernails, body hair untended,
the desire for a tattoo
--Silence, please--

A run in my
 black nylon hose;
totally out of funeral clothes.
Which means no one else is going to die.

I'm too big for mall clothes.
Legacy of the word 'hysteria,'
You said something about the Race Card,
even tho I'm white.

Possibility of a deal
DA DJ Dye Job
don't know / never does.
Not nearly enough scar tissue
for this kind of accusation
--Quiet, please, folks--
Menopausal white woman waving folding fan.

The funeral's bride
damage to the rear bungalow.
A hard look at me
and I'm applesauce.


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